Willow at the club is a perfect example of how teens will change too much about themselves at once in order to make friends. “Although it’s okay to make minor adjustments to your personality to make friends, it’s imperative that you keep the core of your identity and your beliefs intact to avoid making friends for the wrong reasons” (White). Teenagers should keep this in mind when they are trying to make friends. As Buffy the Vampire Slayer makes clear, too often, teenagers change who they really are and how they act in order to make friends. However, as White makes clear in her article on teenagers changing the way they act to fit in, if they change too much about themselves and their beliefs, they will make friends for all the wrong reasons.
I don't really know. I just feel like I don't introduce the quote well enough and that it seems to kind of appear out of nowhere. If anyone has suggestions, let me know!
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"Willow at the club" is kind of working like shorthand. It kind of suggests that there are multiple versions of Willow: School Willow, Club Willow, Sitting on the Fence Eating Ice Cream Willow, etc. Set the scene a little--even if it's only something as simple as "When Willow is faced with peer pressure at the Bronze, the club Buffy and her friends frequent, she provides a perfect example of how teenagers can become willing to change too much about themselves in order to better fit in and make friends."
ReplyDeleteWhere in the paper did you place this paragraph? Your first sentence could use a little more vibe in it because it is too simple to start off a significant scene.
ReplyDeleteYou need to introduce your quote--1) because it pops out of nowhere (tell us who is speaking and why (give context to the quote))and 2)because the "you" in the quote is distracting (you should either tell us why the writer is directly addressing the reader (is it a how-to type book?) or paraphrase the quote instead so you can avoid that)
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