GLADIATOR

My favorite movie of all time would have to be “Gladiator”. It was made in 2000 and stars Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix. This is my favorite movie not just because of the awesome action and fight scenes, but also because of the message it sends to the audience. In this movie, Russell Crowe plays a Roman General. After the emperor is murdered, along with his family, he is sent to be executed for treason by the new emperor (The new emperor is intimidated by the general and wants him dead because of this). The general survives the execution by killing the guards and escapes. After riding for a long time, he collapses from exhaustion. He is picked up by a slave owner and made into a gladiator. Because of his military training, he becomes the best gladiator in Roman history. He works his way up from fighting in a run-down Roman Province to fighting epic battles in the Coliseum. Through his victories against all odds, he wins the love of the crowd and gains power. Even when the emperor orders the general to do something, he defies him and does the opposite, just to prove a point; that everyone can make their own choices. Every act of defiance wins over the crowd more. In the end, the general faces off against the emperor in the Coliseum. The emperor wants to win, so before the match, he goes to the general’s cell and stabs him (then covers up the wound so no one can see). In the Coliseum, the general kills the greedy emperor and wins his freedom, however, his previous stab wound is too much for him and he also dies in the sand.
This movie is very inspirational for the audience viewing it. It shows that no matter how far down and out you may seem to be, it is so important to keep trying. The human heart can achieve anything. In this movie, a man goes from being Rome’s most glorified general, to a slave who lost everything, to a gladiator that defied an emperor, and then back to being a hero in the eyes of the citizens of Rome. It would be easy for one to give up after being sentenced to death and losing your whole family at once, but the general’s perseverance shows us that if we set our minds to something and never give up, that we can achieve anything. It shows that no matter what your situation may be, if you don’t give up and keep working, you can make your way to the top.

Commonplace paper problem

Alright. So my commonplace paper is going alright so far, but I do have some problems. I'm not really too sure which parts of my analytical research paper to include, and which ones to leave out. My topic for the commonlplace paper is about peer pressure and teens. I talk about how it is a complex issue and difficult to deal with and how "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" does a great job bringing the problem of teen peer pressure (the different forms it takes and how the teens react to it) to the public's eyes. I was thinking about connecting examples from Buffy to real life examples that are similar. Doing that alone takes up about 3 pages and I know Leslie said that the papers shouldn't be much more than three. I was also thinking about including some of my sources from my ARP about how adults oversimplify peer pressure and even programs like DARE do the same thing, which actually makes it tougher for teens. I'm not really sure what I should include and not include, so any thoughts would be great!

CP idea...

So I was thinking for my Commonplace Paper I would keep to the general idea of my analytical research paper: that peer pressure is a much more complex issue than adults will admit and that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is compelling and relevant to this topic because of how Joss Whedon makes the teenage characters in Buffy so relatable to the audience. For example, the characters in Buffy face many similar situations dealing with peer pressure as teens today do. They also go about reacting to the peer pressure in a similar way. They will change how they act or how they dress just to be accepted. Although adults make it seem as though peer pressure is simple and easy to avoid or rise above, nothing could be farther from the truth. Joss Whedon recognizes this and sympathizes with America’s teens by showing through Buffy how difficult it can be to deal with. Adults make it seem as though peer pressure is easy to rise above. However, oftentimes, teens do not even realize that they are being pressured, so how can they effectively rise above it? Throughout the pilot episode of season one of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there are countless examples of main characters, like Buffy and Willow (Buffy’s best friend), facing peer pressure and just being pressured to do things they don’t want to. These examples range from Buffy feeling pressured to dress a certain way when she goes to the club in order to be accepted to Willow acting out of character and approaching a random guy, initiating a conversation with him so that she doesn’t feel as though she is a loner and so that she can be seen as “normal”. A perfect example of a teen not realizing that they are being pressured is when Buffy is talking to Giles at the club. He is pressuring her to resume her position as the slayer, even though she does not want to. I was thinking about relating some of these examples from Buffy to examples from real teenagers in America, like the one I talked about in class today about the middle school girl who came home from school on the first day and told her mother that they needed to go buy her clothes that looked “cool” so that she wouldn’t be made fun of. Let me know what you think of these ideas, it’s just a start.

Mike's Problems

Alright, so here's the problem I'm having. My paper is at 6.5 full pages, but I cannot get it to 7 and I don't really know what to do. I've gone through the whole thing multiple times, expanding each paragraph and adding my own analysis. I've introduced, incorporated, and explained all of my quotes and I'm still falling short. Any suggestions?

My quote

Willow at the club is a perfect example of how teens will change too much about themselves at once in order to make friends. “Although it’s okay to make minor adjustments to your personality to make friends, it’s imperative that you keep the core of your identity and your beliefs intact to avoid making friends for the wrong reasons” (White). Teenagers should keep this in mind when they are trying to make friends. As Buffy the Vampire Slayer makes clear, too often, teenagers change who they really are and how they act in order to make friends. However, as White makes clear in her article on teenagers changing the way they act to fit in, if they change too much about themselves and their beliefs, they will make friends for all the wrong reasons.

I don't really know. I just feel like I don't introduce the quote well enough and that it seems to kind of appear out of nowhere. If anyone has suggestions, let me know!

MIKE'S PAPER PROBLEMS

So after working on my paper for awhile and rereading it, I’ve realized that my biggest problem would have to be the organization of my paper. I feel as though I am incorporating all of my secondary sources well enough, but I jump around in my paper a lot. For example, I start off with a summary of my specific episode. Halfway through the summary, I decide to elaborate for about a page on a specific point in the episode’s plot, incorporating some of my secondary sources. It sounds pretty good adding the sources where I do, but then when I start summarizing again, the paper doesn’t sound as fluid. It’s kind of like “oh, I thought his summary was over, what’s he talking about now?” and then I start again. The summary of my episode is critical and I feel as though there would be no other place to put my secondary source analysis in the paper other than halfway through the summary. I’m trying to work through this problem, but it is tough. Let me know what you guys think…
Another minor problem I have is building up to my quotes so that they don’t appear to come out of the blue and transitioning smoothly between some of my thoughts. I know that I need to build up to the quote, but I can’t seem to find the right words to build up to it. I’m going to the writing center later this week, so I guess I’ll just wait and see what they say.

WB Post 3 - Deodorant

The topic that I decided to research for this assignment was that of deodorant; Crystal Body Deodorant to be specific. The two web pages that I looked at were very different. The first of these, which can be found at http://www.thecrystal.com/, caught my attention right off the bat. The page was colorful and vibrant. The first thing I noticed about it was a slide show of pictures that they had running on the right side of the screen. In these pictures, there were photos of a happy couple, several women meditating, as well as the product itself. One could guess from these pictures that this web page and ad for this product is meant to attract adults, specifically females. On the left side of the ad in bold letters, it says ALL-TIME TOP 10 CLASSICS, which catches the reader’s eye. They also bold and color key phrases and words that they want the reader to focus on such as “recommended by medical experts”. Near the top of the page, they had different links that one could click on to receive more information about the product if they wished. The links ranged from the history of the product and related products to information on how to purchase the product and how to contact those in charge.
The second article that I looked at was almost the opposite of the first (it can be found at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1372565/crystal_body_deodorant_spray_4_fl_oz.html). This article did not contain pictures or text in bold or vibrant colors. Rather, it was just a long article with a lot of information. The article was very informative and contained helpful information about the product such as what the product is, the ingredients that are in the product, how to use the deodorant, and how to purchase it. Although this advertisement had a lot of information to offer, it was very lengthy and did not do a very good job of keeping the reader’s attention.
After comparing the two advertisements for Crystal Body Deodorant, I realized that the first web site I went to did a much better job of persuading the public to try the product. It grabbed the reader’s attention right away with its use of different colors, different fonts, different sized and colored text, and pictures. Although the second article had more information written about the product, the first article had more relevant information and information that simply applied to the audience better. The first advertisement took a much more creative approach to sell the product, and the result was that it was overall more persuasive than the second one.